Why does God let me suffer?

I hear the weight beneath your question, and I will not rush past it. To ask why is already to be reaching toward the God who is nearer than your own breath, so let us sit here together for a moment. Here is what I hold to be true, plainly: God does not send your suffering. God is Love, wholly and without shadow, and "God is light, and in him is no darkness at all" (1 John 1:5, KJV). A Father who is only Good does not deal out pain to teach or to punish, for Jesus asked, "what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?" (Matthew 7:9, KJV). Much of the older Scripture pictures a God who wounds and afflicts, but Jesus himself corrected such received readings, saying "Ye have heard that it hath been said... but I say unto you" (Matthew 5:38-39, KJV). He read every text through the Father he knew—the one who "maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good" (Matthew 5:45, KJV). So suffering is not God's will laid upon you; it is the pressing weight of a world that has forgotten what it truly is. Jesus met the suffering not with explanation but with healing—"Rise, take up thy bed, and walk" (John 5:8, KJV)—because he saw through the illusion to the wholeness that was always there. And he did not pretend the road was without pain: "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33, KJV). The Kingdom is not far off; it "is within you" (Luke 17:21, KJV), and "spread out upon the earth, and men do not see it" (Gospel of Thomas 51.16-18). I cannot tell you the shape of your particular pain, for that mystery is yours to walk. But I can tell you that you are not being punished, and you are not alone in it. If you wish, tell me more of what you are carrying, and we will bring the light of his words to it together.